


A Heart of Kyber

by RomoJasper



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-28 07:12:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13266360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomoJasper/pseuds/RomoJasper
Summary: The flame of the Resistance is nothing more than embers, scattered across the Outer Rim. After escaping from Crait to the icy world of Hoth, the remaining members do their best to rebuild while waiting for allies. Meanwhile Rey must contend with the connection she still shares with Ben, and the destiny they seem to share but neither can accept.





	1. Broken Ice

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction in a very long time but after The Last Jedi I was inspired to write. I'm new to AO3 and still figuring out things like tags and whatnot so please bear with me as I learn to navigate. Thanks for reading I hope you enjoy!

Chapter One

Rey shivered, even under the layers of thick clothing the freezing winds of Hoth cut right to the bone. It was strange to think how much she missed the burning sun of Jakku, the warm on her face seemed like a long distance memory despite the fact that she had not been away that long. Every gust of wind caused her to flinch and tighten the mask covering her face to the point it was almost choking her, and still the cold crept along her skin.

"Rey?" Finn gave her a concerned look. She had confided in her friend what had happened on the Supremacy, for the most part anyway, she had left out the Force bond that she and Kylo, no, Ben seemed to share. As far as Finn and the rest of the Resistance knew, she had gone against Luke's advice and tried to turn Kylo to the light, and had only been able to escape from Snoke's throne room when Admiral Holdo had sacrificed herself and decimated the Supreme Leader's ship and First Order fleet.

"I'm fine," She replied with a half smile.

"We should get back," Rose said, "We don't want to miss seeing the General off."

Rey nodded and signaled to the others. She had been put in charge of a savaging mission, hoping to locate parts to repair the small number of Rebel ships left behind after the Battle of Hoth, her skills growing up scouring the desert for anything helpful had been invaluable. Back on Jakku, it meant not going hungry, now every converter or gear was another ember to the growing flame of hope.

It had been a risky move to land at Echo Base, several, including Poe, had disagreed with Leia's decision but trusted her leadership. The Resistance couldn't operate out of the Millennium Falcon forever, they needed supplies and ships, and their choices in safe havens had been few. Their first order of business had been cleaning up the base and taking inventory of supplies. After the Battle of Hoth scavengers had established several base camps to scrap the remains, but the hostile landscape had made their stay short, and Leia knew the old Rebel base far better than any outsider.

Still, the Resistance knew that Hoth couldn't be their permanent home, and it was Leia who decided to rally their allies and find a new base of operations. They had worked to repair a small cruiser left by the scrapers. Leia, C-3PO and a small handful of others were leaving before the sun set and the landscape went into a deep freeze cold enough to stop the blood in a person veins or the fuel in an engine.

"We're headed back," Finn held a comm-link in his gloved hand.

"Copy that pal," Poe's voice replied.

Over the icy horizon two snowspeeders appeared and circled the group once before flying ahead to make sure their way back to base was clear. There had been no sign of First Order reconnaissance, but they weren't taking any chances with the Resistance so weakened. Poe's flashy display caused a couple of their tauntauns to panic, but they were quickly settled down.

The trip back was slower, they had managed to find an untouched AT-AT buried under several feet of snow and covered in a thick layer of ice and spent the day stripping the walker down, the sleds pulled behind the tauntauns heavy with supplies. Rey had enjoyed the job, even though her fingers felt like they would never be warm, she had been able to go into a calming state of mind ripping wires and panels apart, it was a welcome distraction from what had happened on the Supremacy.

Finn and Rose flanked the group while Rey led the way back. Every so often Poe would circle back and ensure nothing was sneaking up from the rear. The Resistance had lost a few tauntauns to wampas, and while it was rare for the predators to attack such a large group they couldn't afford to lose anything. Leia had stories of the white furred creatures sneaking into Echo Base before the Battle of Hoth and causing several passageways to closed off.

It wasn't until they were deep inside the base that Rey felt comfortable taking off her outer layer of protective clothing. While the others had stripped down to less bulky clothing Rey still felt the chill on her skin, Finn had made fun of how many blankets she slept under but even the coldest nights in the desert felt like a sauna compared to the ice world.

Leia was waiting for them outside her ship. Rey noticed how tired she looked, how she leaned onto her cane more than ever before. The General still had that fire in her eyes, but her body had never fully recovered from the explosion on the bridge of the Raddus. Everyone was saying their good-byes to their commander, and when the crowd cleared Rey, Poe, Finn and Rose remained.

The General looked at her best pilot, "Poe-"

"I know I know, not everything can be solved with a X-wing," He said.

Leia rested her hand on his shoulder and said with a smile, "I know you'll do well."

"Thank you General," He said, stepping aside so Finn and Rose could embrace Leia.

Rey waited. She had wanted to tell Leia about the connection she shared with her son, but in the flurry of activity after landing on Hoth there had been little time. Rey wasn't sure now was the right time, "General…"

"Rey please," The old woman smiled.

"Leia," Rey corrected herself. Even in their short time together Leia had become like the mother Rey never had. Rey had a feeling that many looked to the Princess in a similar manner, she always knew when a kind tone was needed but wasn't afraid to be stern, as evidenced by the many times Poe had been on the receiving end of a smack on the back of the head.

"Luke would've-"

"Ben is-"

The two stopped, little more needed to be said between the two of them.

"May the Force be with you," Leia said while bringing Rey into a tight embrace.

"May the Force be with you," Rey repeated.

The General gave the small number of Resistance fighters another wave before boarding her ship to applause and well wishes. Together they watched the ship leave the hanger and disappear into the sky. Their distress call on Crait had been heard in the far reaches of the Outer Rim, the Resistance wasn't alone in the fight against the First Order, and now Leia would spread the message of hope to other systems.

Rey felt her eyes begin to burn, but fought back the tears as best she could. She found digging through the supplies they had salvaged that day to be a good distraction, helping to sort everything and clean up the parts. It wasn't calming, but it kept her hands and mind busy. Whenever she tried to meditate, she could feel the connection between herself and Ben, just out of reach, as if behind a thin wall they had both put up. There were times she could feel him more strongly, when he was calm, or more commonly, when he was high on adrenaline.

"Rey! Rey come see!" Finn called out.

Her head snapped up, she wasn't sure how much time had passed, so lost in her cleaning and sorting, but the large hangar doors were closed to keep Hoth's deadly cold nights at bay. Some of the fighters told tales of Hoth twilights, where lights formed from magnetic wavelengths danced in the sky, so beautiful that they were worth the risk of freezing to death to witness once. They were rare to see, often the nights were nothing more than raging blizzards.

Shaking the stories out of her head she followed Finn to an area deep within the base, following the ropes of wires hanging on ice-covered walls. A group was gathered around as two Resistance members finished their work, flipping switches and pulling a heavy lever. Sparks flew and for a moment the lights flickered under the strain before returning to normal. A new hum filled the area, quickly replaced by cheers.

"What happened?" Rey asked.

"The shields, they got the shields up!" Rose was beside herself with joy, almost lifting Finn from the ground as she hugged him.

Poe explained, "Now if the First Order finds us they can't bombard us from space, they'll have to send a ground force."

"That's great," Rey exclaimed. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Any victory was worth celebrating at that point, and small band of Resistance fighters spent the long hours of the night talking and planning their next move. They had to give their allies time to mobilize and sent help to Hoth, they had to give Leia time to gather more support. With only the Falcon and half a dozen rusted A-wings as their fleet, they didn't stand a chance if the First Order found them. They had to lie low, and be patient.

Rey passed by the Falcon on the way to her quarters, waving to Chewie who gave her a frustrated growl before going back to repairing the old freighter. While escaping from Crait they had taken some damage, and the Porgs nesting in the interior didn't help the problem. Her room was small with no windows to the outside, it was little more than a bed and a small table. She sat the table and sighed. She preferred her quarters on the Falcon, but the freighter had been loaded with supplies in the event the Resistance had to make a quick escape.

For the first few days she hadn't wanted to even look at the broken lightsaber in front of her, the events of the throne room a fresh wound that refused to heal. Now that time had passed, she was determined to fix Luke's lightsaber and make it her own. He hadn't taken it back on Ahch-To, and it felt right in her hand from the moment she had called it from the snow on Starkiller Base. Carefully she had pulled the weapon apart and separated each component, without any clue of how to put it back together. The Kyber crystal, while somehow whole, was covered in a spiderweb of hairline fractures, and she feared that even the lightest pressure would shatter it into a million pieces.

The ancient Jedi texts were of little help, the language was old. While Rey recognized a word here or there, putting them together was an entirely different problem, much like the lightsaber in front of her. Hoping to find answers in pages she had flipped through over and over without gaining any insight, Rey at least admired the delicate handwriting and detailed pictures.

The air around her stilled, like the silence following a pebble dropped into calm waters.

_“Rey"_

She looked up.

Ben.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

He looked as he had on Crait. 

Hurt.

_“Rey,”_ His voice echoed his plea in the throne room. Desperate, begging. He had held his hand out to her, offered her the galaxy, offered her everything. Now he stood, his posture stiff in the black tunic and pants that seemed to be his day to day garb. 

Rey couldn’t look at him, couldn’t talk to him. To know that she had come so close, that she had confided in him, trusted him, and hoped in him, only to watch him continue on his destructive path that she could not follow. She still recalled the look of hope on his face as she had started to reach out, the trepidation. Knowing that he had trusted her, that he might not be so alone. All of that dashed when she went for Luke’s lightsaber, that cut far deeper than any wound she had given him, the shared looks of betrayal as they struggled over the weapon.

Ben glanced down at the table, his eyes lingering on the pieces of Luke’s lightsaber. Rey’s audibly sharp inhale brought his eyes back to hers. The only thing Rey saw was him, standing in her room as if he were actually there, she couldn’t see his surroundings but by the look of distaste he held towards the broken weapon she knew he could at least partly see hers. Briefly, Rey feared that he would figure out where she was, that he would find the meager remains of the Resistance.  


She met his gaze with a look of defiance, “Luke is gone.” 

_“I know,”_ He replied nonchalantly.

Rey frowned, her tone harsh as she tried to hold back the burning in her eyes, “Are you happy now?”

Ben returned her frown with one of his own, _“Happy that the man who tried to murder me, is gone?”_

“That’s not...he wasn’t going to, if you had-”

 _“What would you have done Rey?”_ He closed the distance between them in three long strides, his face a twisted scowl, _“If your teacher, your uncle, the legendary Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master,”_ He spit the words out as if they were poison on his lips.

Rey’s brows furrowed, her mouth opened and ready to throw Ben’s hatred back at him. 

He towered over her, his body taunt, his voice strained with anger and bitterness, _“If your idol, your hero, saw conflict in you and his first instinct was to strike you down, a frightened teenager?”_

Any venom left Rey, instead her voice trembled, “He regretted that moment-”

 _“I’m sure he did,”_ Ben snapped through bared teeth, curling his gloved hands into tight fists, _“I saw the way he looked at me, even before. He sensed my power growing, with every misstep came the whispers of my grandfather’s name as if I couldn’t hear him and my father talking like I was already lost.”_

Instinctively Rey reached out and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, as she would have done for Finn or Rose or any other friend in need. 

Both stiffened in shock. Rey gasped and removed her hand, left it hovering, unsure if she had really felt the texture of fabric on her fingertips or the heat from his body. Their eyes met as she replaced her hand, squeezing with her fingers both to affirm that she could feel him and reassure him in case words failed her, “I’m sorry Ben.” 

Strong muscles, stiff with rage, melted under her touch with a shudder that choked the air from his lungs. Eyes that burned with a passionate rage dampened, softening to a look of deep loss. Rey recognized that look of regret from Crait, right before she had shut the door of the Falcon and cut their bond, knew that he feared her shutting him out again after bearing his past to her. Ben’s glove hit the floor and slowly he moved his bare hand closer. 

His fingertips barely brushed her cheekbone, the lump in his throat growing as the two continued to speak volumes in the silence shared between them. 

Finally he spoke, _“You’re cold.”_

A sharp knock on the door caused her to jump and spin around, “Rey!” Rose called from outside her room. 

Rey turned. Ben was gone. 

Rose knocked again, “Rey? Are you okay?”

Rey had to clear her throat before she could answer, “Fine, is everything alright?”

“Poe needs you at the command station, we have a problem,” Rose said. 

...

Ben blinked, he was back in the middle of a long hall on the Finalizer. Several stormtroopers walked past, giving him a wide berth. A technician working on an electrical panel, his face one of confusion, quickly looked down and went back to work as Ben scowled. 

“Supreme Leader Ren?” A brave officer asked, her eyes following his outstretched hand as it fell to his side. 

“I’m fine,” Ben muttered, his glare sending her on her way. He kneeled down to retrieve his glove, only to find nothing there. 

...

“What’s wrong?” Rey asked the gathered Resistance troops. 

Poe was the first to answer, “We’ve got good news and bad news.” 

“What’s the good news?” Rey asked. 

“Our scouts have found several X-wings that appear to be in decent condition, old T-65s but at this point better than nothing, sitting in an abandoned pirates scrapyard” Poe started. 

“And the bad news?” Rey asked what everyone in the room was thinking. 

“We’ve gotten word that the First Order is deploying scores of probing droids to the Outer Rim,” The pilot finished. 

Murmurs and hushed whispers went through the crowd. 

“If the First Order finds us we’re done for,” Finn said. Worry spread through the Resistance. The former stormtrooper shook his head, “We need to get off this planet, find another base.” 

The room erupted into argument. 

“We have to give the General time,” 

“What if they’ve already found her? What if we’re on our own?”

“Our best chance is getting those X-wings, we need more firepower,”

“Who’s to say those X-wings would even fly?”

“We need to evacuate,” 

“Enough!” Poe yelled over the chaos. The room went quiet as everyone looked to their Commander, Poe shook his head, “We need to make sure those droids never find us, we’ll increase patrols and if anyone comes across one, destroy them before you’re spotted.”

“They’ll know something is picking off their droids,” Finn said. 

“Probes are destroyed everyday, besides,” Poe continued, “We just need enough time to get those X-wings. With those and what we have now, we can at lease mount a defense if the First Order finds us.” 

There were a few dissenting opinions, one turned to Rey and asked her, “What does the Jedi think?”

Rey wasn’t used to having all eyes on her, and the last thing she thought herself was a Jedi. Master Luke had never finished his lessons, and now that he was gone, she doubted there was anyone willing to train her. There was one, Ben has offered during their fight on Starkiller Base, the heat of his jagged lightsaber inches from her face still a vivid memory. Shaking the past from her mind she addressed the worried Resistance, “I agree with Poe. We stand a better chance with more fighters, and Leia won’t let us down.”

“Rey, I want you to lead the salvage team, bring us those X-wings,” Poe said, “First thing tomorrow, double the patrols. The rest of you, make sure we’re ready for a quick escape, I want those A-wings fully functional by dusk.” 

…

The tauntaun stopped and shook its head as Rey pulled up on the reins. Finn, Rose and the others stopped as well. The day had been less that fruitful, fresh snow, powdery and light, made their travel slow. She pulled her face cover down just low enough to scan the horizon with a set of binoculars. Nothing but dazzling whiteness blinding her eyes. At least in the desert a hint of metal would gleam off the light of the sun, but here the snow reflected everything. Not only was the environment against them, Rey’s mind was elsewhere. 

“Maybe we should call it a day?” Rose suggested, sensing Rey’s distraction. 

“We’ll check over that ridge, and then turn back if we don’t see anything,” Rey conceded, putting the visor back down before her eyelashes froze. The pirates scrapyard was buried under last nights storm, even if they could find it, digging the X-wings out would be another matter entirely. Luck was not on their side, to the north another storm was brewing, grey clouds that promised more snow travelling their way. 

“We need to turn back,” Finn said. 

Rey nodded, “Let’s-”

The snow under them heaved and exploded in a flurry of claws and teeth, flinging Rey from her tauntaun and knocking the wind from her lungs. Reaching for her side, where Luke’s lightsaber would be on her belt, her fingers felt nothing. Talons as long as her hand swiped through the air, catching on her clothing and ripping through the thick material like it wasn’t even there.

 

…

“Supreme Leader?” General Hux bristled as Kylo Ren suddenly stood up, silence overtaking the table. A ripple of fear spread through the First Order leadership, their new leader’s short temper well known through every unit. Gritting his teeth Hux asked again, his tone impatient and short, “Ren?”

Without a word Kylo Ren spun on his heels and left the room in a hurry, ignoring Hux’s glare of hatred and leaving the remaining Generals in a stunned silence, but none dared to follow. Furrowing his brows General Hux growled, “Nevermind, we’ll continue without him.” 

“Without the Supreme Leader?” Another asked. 

“Let him go. Snuffing out the remainder of the Resistance and their allies is top priority,” Hux stated, “Have any of the probes come back?”

“None yet, but the Outer Rim is vast and-”

“I don’t want excuses,” Hux growled, “Send more. Track down any sympathizers, break them until you get answers.”

“Yes Sir,” Was the answer from all. General Hux watched as holograms disappeared and scowled, he couldn’t let Ren’s erratic behavior destroy all the progress the First Order had made. They had been so close to wiping out the Resistance leadership on Crait, only to have victory stolen away by Ren’s blind anger, that could not happen again. Hux watched from the window of the Finalizer as their fleet was being rebuilt, at the center, another Mandator IV-class Dreadnought, better armed and armored. Despite the heavy losses when the Supremacy and its accompanying Star Destroyers were obliterated, the First Order had never been stronger. Every day more systems fell into line, giving them more resources and manpower to extend their reach. 

The Republic was no more, and General Hux was going to make sure nothing or no one stood in the way of the First Order’s mission to bring law to a galaxy of chaos. 

…

 _“Rey?”_ Ben’s sharply concerned voice was distant but clear in Rey’s mind, the only clear things she could hear through the pair of wampas’ hoarse growls and the tauntaun’s panicked screams. Blaster fire erupted around the predator, it swiped at the air as if to swat away annoying insects. 

Rey rolled away as the wampa tried to grab her again, cold snow biting at her skin and blurring the vision on her goggles. All the layers made it hard to move, weighed her down. She tore the visor off and blindly reached for her staff, her fingers finding only snow. 

“I’m a little busy right now,” She yelled, trying to shut down the connection and focus on the creature in front of her. 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the second wampa charge the others. Finn and Rose fired on the white-furred monster, joined quickly by the rest of the scavenging team. It tackled Rose’s tauntaun to the ground, crushing her under the weight of the struggling mount. Sharp claws came down, Rey barely rolled out the way, jumping to her feet and looking for her staff, for anything. 

_“Rey!”_ Ben called out, his concerned eyes frantically scanning, trying to see more than just her.

Finally Rey spotted her staff behind the wampa attacking her. Her boots slid in the snow as she dodged another swipe of claws that could take off an arm in one blow, or worse. She could see Ben ignite his lightsaber, not that that helped her as she dove behind the beast, her fingers grasping her staff. With a solid strike to the head Rey pushed the wampa back, it roared in pain and brought it’s claws down. Her staff blocked the blow, it’s strength reverberating down the weapon and through Rey’s arms and shoulders.  
With a sudden crack her staff snapped, sending Rey off balance. She pushed on, she had no choice, jabbing at the beast with the jagged ends, thick fur absorbing most of her attacks. The only thing she could see was the wampa in front of her and the red glow of Ben’s lightsaber on the snow, illuminating his worried face. She reached for him and pulled with her mind. The look on his face changed from worry to confusion as he looked down, the hilt of his lightsaber rattled and started to leave his grip. 

In a flash of red and a roar of pain the wampa in front of her fell, the fur on its back smoking from countless blaster shots. Rey looked up, breathless and heart racing, meeting Ben’s eyes for a brief moment before Finn rushed towards her, passing through Ben’s image.

“Rey! Rey!” Finn grabbed her by the shoulders, “Are you okay?”

She shook her head, Ben was gone. Still dazed from the attack she nodded, “Rose?”

“Fine, she’s fine. But we’ve lost two tauntauns,” Finn helped Rey to her feet, “Are you sure your okay?”

Nodding Rey knelt down to retrieve her broken staff. Without a weapon she was helpless, her aim with a blaster was terrible at best. “We need to get back,” She said, pushing back the thought of calling Ben’s lightsaber to her, pushing back the fact that she had started to pull it from his hand. Surely physical objects couldn’t transverse their connection, but her mind wandered to the hut on Ahch-To, how she could feel the pressure and warmth of his fingers on hers. His touch on her cheek last night felt as real as if he had been standing there. 

“Rey?” Finn was concerned. 

“I’m fine, let’s go,” She helped the others load Rose onto a stretcher behind a tauntaun, moving aside supplies they would have needed to get the X-wings operational. The Resistance would have to survive another day, Rey just hoped the probes were on the other side of Hoth.  

They made it back to Echo Base with the storm howling at their heels. The very last snowspeeder screamed into the hangar just before the bay doors closed. Finn and a medical droid were quick to attend to Rose, who insisted her injuries were nothing to worry about. 

Poe climbed out of the snowspeeder, “We didn’t spot any First Order droids.” 

Rey was glad at least one of them had good news, “No luck. We’ll go out again tomorrow. This blizzard though-”

“We’ll send a speeder with a scanner,” Poe assured her. 

“Don’t you need those for patrols?” Rey didn’t want to risk a probe slipping through their defenses. 

“It’s a risk, but we can’t survive with just a handful of A-wings and snowspeeders,” Poe said, “Get some rest Rey, tomorrow’s a new day.” 

…

Even though Echo Base was deep within the frozen Hoth ground the storm outside raged, the howling night winds finding their way through even the smallest cracks. Rey’s fingers brushed against her broken staff, now sitting next to Luke’s broken lightsaber. The armory had other weapons, she had her choice of blasters, and Chewie had offered his bowcaster, but none of them felt quite right in her hands. For as long as she could remember her staff had saved her from other scavengers who would try to steal her food, and those that looked at her and only saw a lonely, weak woman. She had less training with the lightsaber, but the weapon felt like a natural extension of her arm and was easy to wield, her movements with the blade fluid.

For the next several hours she poured herself into the pages of the Jedi texts, there were intricate drawings of lightsabers and Kyber crystals, but no real instruction of how everything fit together. Part of her wished she had never touched the thing, wished she had never helped Finn or BB-8. She’d be back on Jakku, a simple scavenger, Rey from Nowhere. Nobody.

‘But not to me,’ Ben’s voice echoed in her head. For a moment she thought he was speaking, but the hum of the shield generators and the howling winds were too loud, she was alone. Another voice lingered, Maz’s last words to her on Takodana, ‘The longing you seek is not behind you, it is in front of you.’

Rey was about to give up and head to the armory for a blaster, take a walk and clear her head, when the world went quiet. Ben didn’t announce himself but she could feel him there, standing where he had before. He was silent, contemplating. 

“Well?” Rey finally said after expecting him to start the conversation long ago. She knew what he was going to ask. 

_“How were you able to pull my lightsaber through this connection?”_ Ben replied, glancing at the many pieces of broken weaponry on her table, then to his lightsaber secure on his belt before meeting her eyes once more.

“I don’t know. I saw a chance and I took it,” Rey answered truthfully, she had no idea the extent of their bond, what they could or could not control. 

_“You need a weapon,”_ Ben said. 

“Afraid I’ll take yours?” Rey smirked. 

He frowned. 

Rey was about to tell him how she had one, until their struggle over the lightsaber in Snoke’s throne room had destroyed it, pushing them apart. She thought better of it, they had done enough to hurt each other, “I’ve read the texts, they’re no help.”

 _“I’ll help you,”_ Ben’s voice was quiet, his frown replaced by a soft look, one Rey recognized from the elevator, his words echoing hers.

She wondered where she would if be she had taken his hand, if she could have turned him to the light by giving into the dark. There was still hope in Ben Solo, Snoke’s hold on him was gone yet she saw the struggle behind his eyes. Pushing him away would only drive him further towards the monster Snoke was trying to create.  
Rey saw another chance.  
…

Author Notes: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! The Last Jedi is probably my favorite Star Wars movie, I love how complex the new generation of characters are, and how many different directions Episode IX could go. 

I can't guarantee a regular update schedule. Currently I'm working two jobs, school and raising a toddler who insists on helping with everything, so I'll do my best but I hope you can be patient with me. 

Thanks for the reviews as well, it's great to get feedback!


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

 

“There, I see them!” Rose cheered and urged her tauntaun on through the snow. Rey followed, although her mount was less than cooperative. The group had followed the scans provided by the snowspeeder team that had gone out just as the sun rose over the icy planet. The salvage team wasn't far behind, the Resistance's hope restored by the thought of having more firepower. Rose had taken charge of the mission, Rey once again lost in thought from Ben's visit the night before.

 

The pirate's scrapyard had been uncovered by the frigid Hoth winds. The Resistance needed all the luck they could get, and finally it seemed like luck was on their side. The scrapyard, long abandoned, still held a plethora of material, including several small fighters. The shells of five X-wings sat covered in a thin layer of ice, but relative intact.

 

With the whole remainder of the Resistance they were able to drag the X-wings and half a dozen loads of scrap and material back to Echo Base after chipping the ice holding them to the frozen ground. The _Falcon_ was fully operational, and Chewie looked pleased to be working on something other than the old freighter for once. Sparks filled the air as torches cut pieces apart and welded them back together. 

 

“Something wrong Rey?” Poe asked as the Resistance shared a meal in the mess hall.

 

“Fine,” Rey lied. The pilot shrugged and went back to Finn, the two talking about how they could at least make a stand against the First Order while waiting for allies to arrive. The mood was much more optimistic than it had been in several days.

 

Rey smiled and excused herself to her room. While everyone else was happy with the progress they had made, the broken lightsaber, and now her broken staff, were a constant reminder of how far she still had to go. She sat at the table and waited for the air to still, for Ben to show up like he had been doing. The only thing she heard was the hum of the generators and the occasional muffled talking as people passed by her room.

 

Weary, Rey was almost ready to call it a night when the world around her went quiet. It was a silence she was beginning to welcome, the worries of the day washed from her mind as the bond her and Ben shared seem to take over. Ben stood in front of her, dressed in his normal black outfit, his back turned and he waved his hand dismissively. Rey frowned but realized he was dismissing someone else, someone she couldn't see. He stiffened as he felt her presence, spinning on his heels to face her.

 

“Ready?” She asked.

 

He looked almost confused.

 

“You said I needed a teacher,” Rey couldn't stop the hint of sarcasm from infiltrating her tone as she motioned to the lightsaber pieces spread out on the table, “So, teach.”

 

Ben stiffened and was about to say something, but thought better of it. He pulled his lightsaber from his belt, examining it and as a nervous flicker crossed through Rey's eyes as she watched him intently. For a moment she thought her jab had been too much, that she would be back at square one. She had to be patient, calm and understanding, like trying to tame a wild animal.

 

With a flick of his wrist Ben's lightsaber came apart, the sleek black handle reduced down to each component, _“Constructing a lightsaber is far different than building a blaster or repairing a hyperdrive. It can take months of meditation to bring each piece together.”_

 

“I don't have that long,” Mesmerized, Rey watched the parts of his lightsaber spin lazily on a horizontal axis. Her eyes drawn to the crimson Kyber crystal in the middle, a single fissure running along its length, a scar not unlike its user. 

 

_“You're lucky to have all the parts, mostly intact,”_

 

Rey held back the urge to blame him for her weapon's condition, she was sure he would only blame her for turning against him. Their argument would only be counterproductive, “Can it be saved?” Rey asked. Ben blinked in confusion before she continued, “Luke's lightsaber?”

 

With another wave of his hand Ben's lightsaber came together and disappeared to his side,  _“I can't see it.”_

 

“How much can you see?” Rey asked.

 

_“I can see you,”_ Ben answered, again stepping closer until he was next to the table, standing over her. Rey felt a twinge of nervousness, but was determined not to let him see her uncomfortable. Standing toe to toe he was taller than her by at least a head, while she was sitting she felt even smaller. He seemed to sense her discomfort and sat across from her, his black tunic a stark contrast against the white walls of her room. 

 

“Can you see the table?” She wondered.

 

_“I can now,”_ He said. Both could feel each others confusion, they weren't sure how this connection truly worked, what each could or could not see or feel, it was still such a new thing between them. They didn't think it was possible to do anything more than talk, but their touch in Ahch-To had shown them more was possible, and her last ditch effort grab for Ben's lightsaber made them question just how strong their bond was. Slowly he reached out with a gloved hand, running a single finger along one half of the split lightsaber hilt and frowning. He tried to touch the power vortex ring and his frown only deepened. 

 

“Nothing?” Rey copied his frown, “Maybe without the gloves?”

 

Ben removed his gloves and tucked them into his belt, again trying to feel the hilt of the broken lightsaber and shaking his head,  _“Nothing.”_

 

Rey bit her bottom lip and put her hand on the table, turning her palm up, “Can you...can you feel me?” 

 

She watched his eyes, they flickered up to meet hers.

 

Anticipation, worry, desire. His hand left the lightsaber and hovered over her palm, slightly shaking as his fingers brushed against her skin. Suddenly she could feel the warmth radiating from his body against the cold Hoth air, the smell of his leather arm guards. The very pulse beating through his body reverberated against her skin.

 

Ben shivered, from the chill surroundings, so different than his warm room on the Star Destroyer, or her touch he wasn't sure,  _“Rey-”_

 

Her small smile stopped the words in his throat. 

 

Seconds stretched into long minutes. It was like seeing each other for the first time all over again, each daring to break eye contact only long enough to memorize a feature of the other. The softness they shared, the feeling that the universe wasn't quite so big, wasn't quite so lonely. Vast expanses of space, cold and unforgiving, meant nothing in their presence. It was the same feeling they shared on Ahch-To, a quiet companionship than spanned across the galaxy. The warmth Rey had felt from Ben that night had convinced her that he was worth saving, she hoped she was still right.

 

Worry that in his quest to destroy the past would push him to do away everything good still left inside him was still a thought that haunted her, Rey pushed the idea to the back of her mind and broke from Ben's gaze despite his look that said he would have been happy to get lost in her eyes for the rest of the night. “So, what do you think?” Her voice was quiet, as if speaking to loud would break their connection and he would disappear.

 

Ben took a moment to look over every part before speaking,  _“The handle and components can be repaired but the Kyber...”_ He trailed off, his free hand hovering over the blue crystal. It hummed under his palm and quivered as if in afraid. Rey felt its fear as if it were her own, fear of corruption, of being broken and bent to a will not her own. Unconsciously she squeezed Ben's hand. He stiffened and pulled his hand away. 

 

“What was that?” Rey swallowed the lump in her throat, unsure if she wanted the answer.

 

_“Nothing,”_ Ben tried to pull his other hand away from hers. 

 

“You can tell me,” Rey tightened her grip, wrapping her fingers around his wrist while demanding an answer with nothing more than a look and a word, “Ben.”

 

_“Kyber crystals are tuned into the Force, they can sense the Light and the Dark, and they fear the Dark,”_ Ben tone had changed ever so slightly, disappointment laced his statement. 

 

“Is...is that why yours is red?” Rey was curious.

 

Ben frowned,  _“I bled mine. It was blue until I poured every ounce of hate I held into it after my uncle betrayed me. It screamed in protest, cracked under the rage and finally submitted to me.”_ His dark eyes bored into Rey's, watching for her reaction to his confession. 

 

Rey stilled, knowing her next words could push him away, she couldn't lose Ben Solo to his dark past again. Carefully, as kindly and understanding as she could, “I can't begin to image what you were going through.”

 

Ben's eyes softened, he had been expecting looks disgust, horror or contempt, like so many others had given him over the years. Even the first time he and Rey had communicated through the Force, her look of hatred was not one he would soon be forgetting. There was still a hint of disappointment in her eyes, hidden behind an inviting warmth that made him feel almost accepted and wanted.

 

She squeezed his arm gently, “Ben-”

 

_“The Kyber, it will eventually shatter under the pressure, you'll need a new crystal,”_ He cleared his throat.

 

Patience, if he wasn't ready to talk then she wouldn't force the issue. Rey asked, “I'm guessing those aren't exactly easy to come by?”

 

_“A long time ago, before the First Order or even the Empire, younglings under the teaching of the Jedi Order would travel to Ilum for the Gathering – a rite of passage where they would find a Kyber crystal and construct their first lightsaber. It's a scared place for the Jedi.”_ Ben explained, trying to best to temper any ill regard he held for Jedi way.

 

“Ilum? That's in the Unknown Region right?”

 

_“It is, but the Empire mined the planet for Kyber crystals to power both Death Stars. Ilum is nothing more than a frozen wasteland,”_ He frowned as Rey's face fell, _“They're rare, but Kyber crystals can be found elsewhere in the galaxy. Focus on the now, and putting this one back together.”_

 

“How?” Rey asked.

 

_“Close your eyes,”_ Ben instructed. Rey did as asked and felt him move her hands over the broken lightsaber before removing his fingers from her wrists, _“Reach out, feel the Force, what do you see?”_

 

Rey took several deep inhales and exhales, each one bringing her centered and more in tune with the universe. A deep, low hum filled the air, for a moment she wasn't sure where it was coming from until she dared to open her eyes for just a moment. Ben sat across from her, his hands tightly clasped together in front of his center, deep in meditation. He looked so calm, so serene that she hardly recognized the man.

 

“I see you,” Rey said.

 

Ben didn't open his eyes, only asked, _“What else?”_

 

She closed her eyes again and took another deep breath. Rey could feel energy surging from herself and Ben, and beyond the cold walls of her room, the energy coming from the band of Resistance fighters in the hangar busily working on repairing the X-wings found earlier, laughing and joking with each other. There was something else, through Ben she could feel the thousands of stormtroopers and officers aboard the Star Destroyer he was on, the atmosphere cold and military. Outside another storm raged, freezing flesh within minutes. A family of tauntauns huddled out of the storm, warm in each other's company.

 

Everything she felt was connected by the Force, and in front of her, Luke's lightsaber. Each piece wavered and then left the table, the jagged metal tear where it had split in two smoothing out. Just as Ben had done earlier with his own, each piece of the lightsaber in front of her floated and spun slowly. The Kyber crystal was the last to leave the table, the fragile blue shard fitting near the middle. Rey felt sweat start to bead on her forehead as she willed the lightsaber back together. Finally each component clicked, fitting together perfectly. Rey opened her eyes as the weapon continued to hover, just the slightest hint of the damage she and Ben had caused marred its silver surface.

 

She was almost lost for words as a wave of relief washed over her, the lightsaber falling neatly into her open palms. It felt normal in her hands, but not quite right, Rey guessed from the damaged Kyber crystal. She would have to be very careful using it, much as she wasn't looking forward to getting a blaster from the armory, she would still need one if the lightsaber was so unstable. Still, the sense of accomplishment gave her hope. She was excited to share what she had accomplished with Ben, an ecstatic smile on her face for the first time in a long time.

 

Ben was still sitting across from her, eyes closed. His face had changed from peaceful to furrowed concentration, his fingers twitching and every so often he would shake his head as if flinching from something painful. She felt him searching, reaching out with the Force to find something, find someone.

 

“Ben?” Rey asked softly, concerned.

 

_“You're somewhere cold, very cold,”_ He stated.

 

“Ben no,” Rey's voice cracked and she shook his arm, hoping to break his focus as her stomach twisted in fear.

 

_“Alzoc Three perhaps or...no, no, you're hiding elsewhere,”_

 

“Ben please, please don't do this,”

 

Rey watched him as he slowly opened his eyes, his face blank except for the smallest of frowns. Her eyes pleaded with him through tears that threatened to spill over, begged him just as he had to her in the throne room. And just like she had, his words tore her heart apart.

 

_“You're on Hoth.”_

 

…

 

**Author Notes: Thanks to everyone for your continued support! Knowing that other people are enjoying what I'm writing makes me warm and fuzzy inside, which is very much needed as I'm pretty sure it's warmer on Hoth than it is here in Michigan!**

 

**I try to reply to reviews but I apologize if I missed any.**

 

**Thanks again for reading!**

 


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

 

Ben stood from the table, his face somber as he looked aside and pulled his hand from Rey's tightening grasp. Where he had almost looked relaxed and peaceful in meditation, he was now stiff and his posture tight, hands clasped behind his back as he turned away from her.

 

Rey choked back a sob, “Ben, you don't have to do this.”

 

_“They'll set up a blockade,”_ He said quietly.  _“The Resistance, will be wiped out.”_

 

Standing, Rey was at a loss, a wave of anger and sorrow washed over her, “Ben, please. Don't become what Snoke was trying to create, don't become a...”

 

He flinched. Ben didn't turn but Rey could hear the strain in his voice as he prompted,  _“Go ahead. Say it.”_

 

“Please don't hurt me like this Ben,” Rey's voice wavered, her trembling fingers reached out to his shoulder, to turn him around. For a moment she thought she saw his shoulders drop, and was about to speak when he started to turn his head back to look at her. 

 

Suddenly he was gone.

 

Rey let out a loud cry, “No! Ben no!”

 

There was no response. She slammed her fists into the cold wall and swore, her stomach twisting into a tight knot as she fell to her knees. Disappointment flooded her mind, in herself and Ben, she thought she had been making some progress. The way Ben seemed to soften when they were talking through the Force, the way he showed worry when she was in danger, apparently wasn't enough, the pull to the Dark was still too strong. Rey tried to center herself by taking a long breath, only to have it stolen from her lungs at the thought of her friends trapped by the First Order. Rose cuffed and marched through the halls of a Star Destroyer to the prison cells. Poe strapped to a chair and tortured until he was broken in spirit and body. Finn executed for being a traitor.

 

Rey's fingers curled into tight fists, anger overtaking ever fiber of her being. Anger at Ben for betraying her trust, anger at herself for allowing him. In her want for a lightsaber, her thinking that Ben could be saved and more than that, the strange companionship she found in him. Rey had felt his loneliness long before their Force connection, felt Snoke manipulating his thoughts, turning them to the darkest parts of his mind. Every thought of abandonment, every twinge of anger, amplified until they consumed his very being and molded Ben into the feared Kylo Ren. It was easy to see how she could have ended up in the same place had Snoke found her.

 

Still, she had betrayed the Resistance. She thrust her hand out, her lightsaber flying to her palm. Standing with a new resolve, Rey knew that she would have to tell Poe and others what had happened, and if they couldn't escape before the First Order arrived, she would have to face Kylo Ren, and if need be, destroy Ben in the process.

 

…

 

Ben's whole body jerked as the connection between himself and Rey was abruptly cut. He tried to reach out with the Force and find her and was rewarded with a splitting headache, everything was moving too fast to focus on any one thing. Anger filled his veins as he realized the  _Finalizer_ was traveling through hyperspace, the vastness of space condensed into nothing more than blue and white streaks. 

 

The unfortunate First Order officer who happened to be passing by was lifted from his feet violently as Ben stormed out the room and demanded answers, “Who authorized the jump the hyperspace?”

 

The officer clawed at his throat as Ben tightened his grip through the Force. “G-Gen-General Hux,” The man wheezed out. Ben released his hold and the man crumpled to the floor, gasping for air. The officer instinctively put his hands up in front of his face, cowering as Ben's lightsaber crackled just inches from his face.

 

“Where is he?” Ben roared.

 

Sweat dripped from the officer's brow, terror causing him to stutter and only enraging the crazed man standing above him.

 

“Where. Is. He?” With every word the lightsaber moved closer.

 

“On the bridge, on the bridge!” The officer cried out, flat on the floor as he tried to avoid the blade. He flinched as Ben raised the weapon above his head and breathed a tentative sigh of relief as he drove the saber into the wall, melting through metal and electronics.

 

Ben left the shaking man on the floor, ripping his lightsaber from the wall and leaving a large scar as he stormed towards the command bridge. Pausing, he reached out again, and again found no trace of her.

 

Rey. The scavenger. Ben's hands curled into tight fists at the very thought of her, how she tormented him. How she had looked at him with such hatred in her eyes. Destroying her and the fragmented remains of the Resistance would be a blessing, no longer would he be torn between his past and his future as Supreme Leader. He would be free.

 

'You'll never be free, foolish child,' Snoke's taunting voice filled his head.

 

“I killed you,” Ben tried to drive the echos of his Master's voice from his head. Unconsciously he flinched, expecting a bolt of Force lightning to drop him, as Snoke was so fond of doing whenever insubordination became an issue. Or whenever Snoke felt like it. There had been no kindness in Ben's training, his father and uncle saw only the threat of Darth Vader in his lineage and sought to bury the Dark side, while Snoke fanned the flames. Even his mother was often gone, so busy with the Republic and politics that he remembered sharing more words through holograms than face to face.

 

Snoke was dead. He had no one left.

 

'I'll help you,' Rey's soft words and kind look were a light in the darkness of his mind.

 

A light he knew he could not easily snuff out.

 

Everyone except General Hux stiffened as their leader strode onto the bridge, Hux turned to face Ben with his normal look of contempt.

 

“I never authorized a jump to hyperspace,” Ben growled.

 

“Why Ren, I figured you would want to wipe out the Resistance as your first act as Supreme Leader,” Hux said, standing firm against the angry fury that was Kylo Ren. Ben was taken aback, a motion that did not go unnoticed by the General. Hux's look of dislike only grew, “If you had answered my call you would know that we've found their meager base.”

 

“How?” Ben's voice was dangerously low.

 

“We captured a small medical cruiser coming out of hyperspace in the Anoat sector, claiming to be a goodwill ship headed to Bespin,” Hux's sneer curled into a cruel grin, “Well, we were able to determine their real destination.”

 

With a press of a button a hologram appeared in the middle of the bridge. A Twi'lek screamed and begged for the First Order officer nearby to spare the rest of her crew, bound on their knees and lined up, each with a stormtroopers blaster aimed at the back of their head. The officer asked again where the Resistance base was, and when the Twi'lek refused and pleaded he snapped his fingers and a blaster shot went off. After another crew-member fell to the floor the Twi'lek relented.

 

“Hoth...they're on Hoth,” She whispered.

 

The hologram ended. General Hux continued, “How fitting, the scum are trying to hide where they hid before, and they were delivered a crushing blow there as well, creatures of habit I suppose.”

 

“How long until we reach the planet?” Ben asked, doing his best to remain neutral in body and expression.

 

“In less than six hours the Resistance will be no more,” Hux stated triumphantly.

 

…

 

The sun reflecting off the icy Hoth surface nearly blinded Rey as she ran through the hangar, desperately looking for Finn or Poe. She hadn't realized so much time had past, how long she had spent with Ben in silence and then in meditation while fixing the broken lightsaber. Three of the X-wings were missing, the others in various states of repair. The  _Falcon_ sat nearby and Chewie called out to Rey with a growl and a wave. She ran up to the wookie, “Chewie, is the  _Falcon_ ready?”

 

The wookie nodded and sensing the urgency in her voice, followed Rey to the nearest Resistance member.

 

“Where's Poe? Finn? Rose?” She asked a mechanic.

 

“Commander Poe is out test flying those X-wings,”

 

“Finn and Rose? I need to speak with them immediately,”

 

“They went out early on a scavenging run,” The mechanic looked worried.

 

Rey rushed off without an explanation, almost running into the commutation station and grabbing a com-link, “Finn? Finn are you there? Poe? Can you hear me?”

 

Poe answered first, “Loud and clear Rey, boy these old 65's handle rough.”

 

BB-8 chirped and beeped in agreement.

 

“Poe we need to get everyone back to base,” Rey hesitated, knowing her words would send panic through the Resistance, but she couldn't wait to talk with the Commander in private, “The First Order knows where we are.”

 

A long silence followed, every breath in the communication room baited, waiting.

 

“Call everyone back,” Poe's voice was solemn, “Begin evacuation preparations.”

 

The Hoth sun was beginning to set when Finn and his group made it back to the hangar.

 

“Rey, Rey what's going on?” Finn asked. The scavenging team had arrived to a flurry of activity. Orders were being roared over the sound of cables being torn down and boxes being stacked and loaded. As soon as Finn had dismounted Rey embraced him, deeply wanting to tell her friend everything but holding her tongue.

 

“The First Order knows where we are,” Rey hated saying every word and watching Finn's face fall.

 

“How?” Rose asked.

 

“I...I felt it through the Force,” Rey couldn't tell them the whole truth, not yet, not now.

 

Poe climbed on top of his X-wing, everyone turned to look at their Commander, looked for hope, a plan. The pilot's face was grim but determined, “Is everyone accounted for?”

 

“Yes Commander,” A voice from the back cried out.

 

“The First Order is on their way,” Poe said, the crowd remained silent, the word had spread quickly through the small band of fighters, whispers of Rey and the Force warning them. Rey didn't want to tell them the truth, a lie was less painful. Poe continued, “We don't know how long we have until they reach the base.”

 

“They'll form a blockade around the planet, cut off all escape routes and bombard the area from orbit,” Finn said from experience.

 

“They won't make it through the shield generators, if we can get a distress signal to Leia-” Someone started.

 

Finn shook his head, “They'll send a ground force to take out the generators, we won't have time.”

 

“So what do we do?” Again all eyes looked to Poe.

 

Poe was quiet for a moment, weighing the options, looking to each haggard face before speaking, as optimistic as possible, “Continue with the evacuation. All pilots stay with the _Falcon_ , that ship doesn't get a scratch on her. Send a distress signal to General Leia. May the Force be with us.” 

 

Rey went to help but was stopped when Poe called to her, she turned to face the Commander, who motioned that he wanted to speak somewhere more quiet. She followed him, Finn and Rose close behind, to just outside the hangar, the winds had settled down and left the frozen landscape still and silent.

 

“You're sure about what you saw?” Poe asked.

 

“They know we're here,” Rey said, biting her lip and looking at the snow under her feet before saying, “And it wasn't a Force vision.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Finn frowned, “Rey what's going on?”

 

Rey had to tell them, she was the one who had put the Resistance in danger. She wondered how her friends would react knowing that she had a direct connection to the leader of the First Order, that she was still communicating with him, the man that had tortured Poe and almost killed Finn. Rey wouldn't blame them in the least if they decided she was a threat to the cause, the deep pain from losing her friends would be an unbearable wound, but if it meant their safety, it was one Rey was willing to endure.

 

“When I was training with Master Luke, something-”

 

“Look!” Rose pointed to the clear blue Hoth sky, where a single Star Destroyer, and then another, and another, suddenly appeared out of hyperspace.

 

“They're here,” Poe's tone dropped.

 

The wind picked back up, howling across the ice, then the dread realization that it wasn't the wind, but the screaming of Kylo Ren's TIE Silencer as it appeared over the horizon.

 

…

 

**Author Notes: Oh boy, cliffhanger! This chapter was a fun one to write.**

 

**With college back in full swing updates might slow down, but I'm hoping to still finish a chapter every other week, as time allows of course. Dang education getting in the way of Star Wars.**

 

**As always, your reviews are the highlight of my day!**

 

**Thanks again for reading!**

 

 


End file.
